When His Part is Over

Of all the John Hughes movies I saw growing up, my favorite was one that didn’t gain as much popularity as others; She’s Having a Baby starring Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern. It’s a mostly funny, sometimes dramatic movie that tracks a couple from their wedding day to having a baby, bringing it all to life through the husband’s panicked point of view.  Not only did I love the movie but I also was a big fan of almost every song on the soundtrack. In fact, it was in this movie that I heard and was incredibly moved by the ethereal tone of Kate Bush as she sang “This Woman’s Work.” Her voice and the lyrics paired with the intense drama of a scene where a seemingly ‘normal’ delivery starts to go awry is enough to make you cry for hours.  I hadn’t thought about this movie scene and song for years … until very recently. And when I revisited it, the power of it all crashed down hard on me in a deeply personal way. Who knew that a few decades later I would identify with this scene and song so differently, but with a tragic ending?  

What moved me to my core was not only the emotion of the scene and the song, but the powerless light it casts on the husband as he is left staring at closed doors knowing his wife is enduring life-threatening complications with her delivery behind them. There was a point, right after my delivery of the twins we lost, when I was unknowingly hemorrhaging. Since I was covered with blankets, the doctors and nurses did not realize what was happening until I got thirsty, lightheaded and began shaking uncontrollably. In that moment my blood pressure dropped so dramatically everyone (including D) was kicked out and I was quickly wheeled into emergency surgery. I will never forget the look on their faces –  my mom’s, my dad’s, and especially D’s – as they rushed me past them on the gurney, through the dark hallway. We were all thinking, hadn’t we been through enough trauma already? Looking back, I am still left speechless over everything that took place and I think a lot about how helpless D must have felt, processing what was happening to both me AND him, but having to stay strong for all of us.  So as I listen to this song again with a new, very personal, perspective, I cry for different reasons. Kate Bush has captured how all of us felt that night, especially D.